The Art of an Apology

I’m sorry for what I said earlier. You made me say it.  I shouldn’t have raised my voice. But you were getting on my nerves. I’m sorry for giving you the cold shoulder. You really pushed me to my limit.  I’m sorry for being selfish and not consulting you, but you never let me choose. I’m sorry your feelings were hurt, but you shouldn’t be so easily offended. I’m sorry for the lies I told, but I knew you wouldn’t understand. I’m sorry for not paying attention to you, but I’ve heard this story a million times.

The art of an apology could be shorthanded and careless. It could be drawn out and full of falter. It could be full of possibilities if said well. The art of an apology could be painted many ways, but the art of an apology said well  can only be mastered in one way.

An apology said well doesn’t include passive aggression, manipulative blame games, or victimizing.

Apologizing is never meant to get my way or to make me feel better. What is the real reason we tell someone we are sorry? An apology is meant to express remorse toward the person offended. In a way, my apologizing can benefit me. It can make my husband or friend like me again after I hurt their feelings. It can save the relationship I have with them, but ultimately it isn’t for me. It is for them.

1 Cor.13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

When I give an apology, it should be true and heartfelt. The only motive should be to make amends for my wrongdoing. It shouldn’t involve turning the tables to lay the blame on the other person, attempting to make me look like less of a “bad guy.” The truth is we are all bad guys. Not one of us are good  (Rom.3:10). We like to paint ourselves as the image of God without the sin, but we are all full of sin. Though we may bear God’s likeness, we are not God. We are humans. We fail. We stumble. However, it doesn’t always have to leave us in a devastating crumble. We can make amends for our mistakes and allow our lives to be woven back together by the beautiful fabric of forgiveness. Life can be an utter mess; I came to accept this truth unwillingly but eventually. The fact that life is troublesome doesn’t necessarily mean life is ruined.

It means it is a journey.

Will you live it well?

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